Caught in the middle!!

So, here again!! I've decided to share with you the moment, when I first cried in the school that actually, pratically ruined me. 

First off, there's this girl, whose name we shall hide by "YOUNGER". Well, after a weeks of school, I, how do I put this, I fell in love with her. And maybe I was hiding it all within, I didn't let it go. So I was happy being friends with her, and soon, we were in the same crowd. But with all of that aside, the friendship between us never intensified. That was when I gave up, but never got it out of my system. 

Then all was fine, until in July, I met someone, whom we shall call "OLDER SISTER". I bet you already know what I'm talking about. Well, when I saw her, I FELL, like a boulder just fell from the sky, and knocked me clean. I was, dazzled, enthralled, and most of all, guilty. I fell in love with her, yet at the same time, with YOUNGER. What was I suppose to do, they were blood, KIN!! I could'nt let that be th cause of my fall, so I hid, in a vault where nobody can open, until that day. Me and OLDEr began to become friends, then for a while, we played like we were dating. Then I suddenly stood up, I taught about it, then decided that I should court her. It was stupid. This action became my ultimate regret!! 

When I dedcided to do it, the next day, I acted like a fool, and angered YOUNGER. I became melancholic. I was depressed. I was on the verge of dropping out from here, but then, I found comfort from my friends, but it was never enough. I suddenly seeked advice from my friend Carla, whom I knew was trustworthy. She kept me occupied, and i suddenly got better. But everytime I galnced at Youger, I cried. Hard and loud, yet hidden. Then, I started to get desperate, and started asking for more advice, until I asked someone, who became one of the people I despise. She used to be a friend, but now, I don't know why I befriended here to begin with. 

Out of nothing, she exposed my secret to the world, then, lost interest in life. Instead of heading outside in the weekends, I taught of devicing plans to get me out of this school, to avoid the pain from worsening. I was practically pathetic. I never acted so, but with her, I was, defenseless. Suddenly, she found out, and so did OLDER. They both taught of different things, but never the right one. They taught that YOUNGER was the true one, and OLDER was the bandaid, but in reality, no one was the bandaid. I felt the same way for both of them, but a lot more for OLDER. Months passed by without any communication between the two of us, then suddenly evrything got better. I was wondering why it did, but at that instant, I felt well. Nothing could have destroyed this moment. But now, I never acted this awkwardly to OLDER. Perhaps its from the continues surges of hyperventilation.

    :/